A few things to keep in mind:

• Stop the action quietly. Use positive phrases in a quiet voice.
• Bend, kneel or sit and look at the child when you speak to him/her.
• Keep it short and simple.
• Give positive statements of what the child my do or say, rather than what they can’t.It is difficult for young children to reverse their actions.
• Acknowledge the child's feelings and help him/her verbalize feelings. Often just knowing someone understands they are sad, frustrated or angry is what kids need. Helping kids share these feelings and their needs with other kids is part of our job in the classroom.
• Describe the situation and let he child take the initiative. "I see napkins that need to go into the trash."
• Offer a limited choice. "Do you want to pick up the blocks or the trucks?"
• Ask yourself...would I speak this way to a friend? Children deserve the same tone of respect and kindness we sue with each other.

Here are some helpful phrases:

• People like to be touched gently.
• This is the way we do it at our school.
• At Co-op we…
• It is time to …
• Use friendly hands. When you pat John softly, you say, “I like you.”
• Walk indoors. Running is for outside.
• Keep your hands on your own body.
• Your bottom needs to touch the chair.
• It is time to sit at the circle rug.
• You can move your body to circle, etc. or I can help you.
• Blocks are for building.
• I see two friends want the truck.
• May I help you?
• You may hit the clay. Pound it hard with your fist.
• You are listening to music quietly.
• I see a girl that is…
• You really worked hard cutting out that circle. You are a hard worker.
• Use your voice to tell Sue you want to play with her.
• Tell John that you are unhappy, Jim. Say “I don’t like for you to pull my shirt.”
• That was friendly to share you truck with Brian, Paul. You are a friendly person.
• I see you want a turn with the doll. Ask, “When can I have a turn?”
• It is all right to cry, Jim. I know that hurts. It will stop soon. Sometimes people need to cry. You may go back and play when you are ready.
• I know you want to be the father, Bill. We could have two fathers in this house and two mothers. We might need a grandfather or uncle too.
• At Co-op, everyone gets to play.
• I see you want to join their game. As “What role can I play?”
• You can stay with me until you are ready to go back and play in a friendly way. I won’t allow you to hit the other children.
• Gently friends. There is plenty of room for everyone. Be careful of each other. Thank you for moving back, Sue. That was friendly.